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The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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It is important to note as well, that the majority of those singing the songs are just kids, or at the very least, young adults. And then there’s McClaren: hapless, hopeless, incompetent, a man who has failed at every level of management. A thief has broken into Newcastle United's trophy room where their precious MFI made trophy cabinet proudly stands.

We have scoured the country for some of the best and funniest jokes, most jokes were thought up on terraces or in the pub after a game and a few beers. But he came out and, for the first time last night, admitted that the team he “manages” is crap, not good enough, relegation material. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them. Paul the players I have are crap man have you got any training tips I can try, something dead simple’. Whenever a group of lads are having a laugh, it is always a case of asking “who is it at the expense of?And they’d discover that, since McClaren’s appointment a sensible few have been screaming for his head. Bob Moncur should fall on his sword NOW and admit his backing for McClaren was wrong, and propping up Lee Charnley’s ailing board was worse. Suddenly, a member of the public stops him, and says, "I recognise you from somewhere, are you famous? I for one don’t sing those songs but I’m not outraged by them, I just don’t think they are either clever or original, not particularly funny and most importantly it isn’t really related to supporting your own team. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

My late husband was foreign minister of Nigeria, and on his death he deposited USD15,000,000 in a bank account.

These are torrid times for our club, but the pain could be eased by some REAL entrepreneurial skills from Mike Ashley.

On the night of the honeymoon she woke him up in the early hours with tears streaming down her cheeks. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average.Geordie phoned his GP requesting a house visit as his piles were so painful that he was unable to walk. It's not exactly a beautiful city, but there are some really impressive views along the Tyne with its succession of bridges at different levels.

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